December 2009
57 posts
@joeysee, @lifeinatreehouse, @...jeremy(?)
joeysee:
alliemyers:
I MISS YOU ALL. BE THUR IN A LIL BIT.
Love, your friend virtually and in real life, @alliemyers
Dear @alliemyers,
WTF is up with the @ signs? What do you think this is? Fucking twitter?
You’re right, @joeysee… Twitter sucks. Good thing neither of us… has… one…
@joeysee, @lifeinatreehouse, @...jeremy(?)
I MISS YOU ALL. BE THUR IN A LIL BIT.
Love, your friend virtually and in real life, @alliemyers
WHO R AVATAR?!?!1?!?!
Say it Ain't So →
drewrifkin:
What am I going to do with my afternoons now? Truly the end of an era. First Oprah, now Tyra. Where am I going to find memorable weave-exposing, cellulite-revealing and tear-jerking moments. There is not going to be anything worth watching on daytime TV.
Amen, Drew, amen. Will we have to have our own PERIOD PARTY?!
I WILL send in law school applications today
I’m tumblr-ing it so that you all can hold me accountable.
Now here is a picture of Friendship circa autumn 2008:
I Love Lists / Stereotypes!
Stereotypes based on your favorite author
Stereotypes based on your favorite indie band
I think I might make my own. Ideas?
Merry Christmas To All
Except for the Jews and/or Muslims.
Love, Pauly D, Snookie, The Situation, and Allie “The Rack” Myers
(P.S. I’ve had this post queued up FOREVER)
The bagpipes at the Christmas Eve service are definitely the Presbyterian version of the shofar. Absolutely terrifying.
Speaking of terrifying, look at what came up when I searched Google Images for “bagpipes”:
WHAT THA FAAAAACK?! She is actual fellating the mouthpiece.
Here is something to celebrate...
RICHARD SIMMONS!
How is he 61 years old? He should be ageless. And immortal.
Tell me something I don't know →
aviamon:
Improv. Movie Theme #1 - Avi Amon
In...
All I want for Christmas...
…is Cookin’ with Coolio.
I’m not even kidding. The ingredients for his guacamole recipe included “a ripe-ass avocado” and “a dime bag of salt.” Also, there’s a chapter called “Salad Eatin’ Bitches.”
Browing ACappellaBlog.com. See Fredo's Name. Not... →
Sad: Brittany Murphy dies at 32.
Sadder: Freak celebrity deaths are the only events that remind me of my own mortality.
"Deez Nuts": All-Male Response to the Vagina... →
“These guys are such turds. Now, which one has a penis piercing?”
– My mom (while watching The Jersey Shore)
Sanctity of Marriage FAIL
Marriage between cousins: Legal in 50% of the United States
Marriage between same-sex partners: Legal in 10% of the United States
Also this.
Is it bad that I didn’t care about the Tiger Woods drama at all until I found out that one of his alleged mistresses was on Tool Academy? (Also, really Tiger? Her?)
Jersey Shore Name Generator
Yeah, pretty much. Try it!
It official: I'm writing a book about her.
After working with her for almost 2 years, and correcting her about 200 times, my thesis advisor still thinks I’m in the Honors Program. I’m not.
Someday, I’ll write memoirs about working as her research assistant.
The gun from Nintendo's Duck Hunt doesn't actually...
aviamon:
ohyeahfacts:
When you pull the trigger, the screen goes black for a split second, and then a white shaped duck appears over the black. The gun is just a sensor for a change in light (from black to white) so if it’s pointed where the duck is, it’ll pick up the black screen and then the white duck.
Early versions of the gun allowed you to point it at a constant light source (like a...
They're not trying to scare us or anything...
“Economic disruption, population migration, political upheaval, and conflicts over resources seem likely.”
-Geological Hazards Textbook, under a section called “Consequences of Climate Change”
Also… polar bears. WHERE WILL THEY GO?!
A hipster with a mullet called me "Mermaid Girl."...
Tavi: 13-year-old fashion blogger, brilliantly... →
“Justice Sotomayor’s opinion in the case, Mohawk Industries v. Carpenter,...”
WatchSen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) loves Jews more than I do. I didn’t even know that was possible.
Winter of Creativity: I'm such a lame English...
For my first Winter of Creativity related post, I’m going to share with you a poem I wrote for my class on Chaucer. As a creative project, I decided to make up a new pilgrim to join the cast of the Canterbury Tales, and introduce her in Chaucerian style.
Here’s why it’s awesome: A) It’s in Middle English B) It’s in iambic pentameter couplets, following the style of...
Primary Applications - Completed
Transcript - Received
Letters of Recommendation - Submitted
Personal Statement - Drafted
Future - …Happening?!?
“I’m cleaner than catfish pussy.”
– Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em
…Wait, what??
What a jam.
There Are Five Funny Girls in the World...
… according to Avi and Flounder. After hearing this statistic thrown around a few times, I made them create the list. Here’s what they came up with after a bit of wine and some raw pesto dinner:
1. Allie Myers (first, obv.)
2. Tara Mangini
3. GracenMichelle (as 1 entity)
4. Tina Fey
5. Avi, dressed as a girl
(I will leave it to you guys to figure out which one isn’t...